Erotica

Picture if you will, dear readers, Maple Street. Every town has one, and they all are as one Maple Street. Families grow up together, young people meet and fall in love. And sometimes, just sometimes, the strangest things happen on Maple Street. It was a warm night when Frederick Joseph Ferregut, a young adult black-footed ferret, found himself dozing off in his recliner. Frederick was a fairly typical example of his species, with a thin, lanky tube of a body, and short little limbs that kicked reflexively as he snoozed. Freddie slept in a thin tank top and boxers. A ceiling fan pushed the hot air around, and the breeze from the open window helped little. The blue light of the flatscreen TV cast an eerie pall over the scene. ...

Dedicated to Lupine who inspired me to get off my butt and write. High above the clouds, the Celestial Temple oversaw the heavens and the earth, and all was good, but the gods were restless. Thund clapped his massive flippers together in the way only elephant seals can. “A game!” he announced. Eyes rolled but bodies slithered, flapped, padded, and clambered towards the center of the Celestial Temple’s white marble amphitheatre. ...

Harry Broadback nosed his way up to the surface of the water and peeped around. As expected from the intelligence report, not a guard in sight on the lagoon. Harry snorted a laugh, which bubbled the salty water around him. All that money in scientific developments and criminals were still vulnerable to shift changes. He huffed in deeply, dove back under, and kicked his stumpy legs. He surfaced again in a large cavern. A pocket submarine pen, from the looks of it, with a small submarine docked and awaiting some kind of cargo to be loaded. He splashed quietly to a ladder and clambered up. ...

Part One With Applejack out savin’ Equestria all the time, ah guess ah just wanted everypony t’pay attention t’me fer once. So I started eating… An’, boy, lemme tell you, Ah started gettin’ attention. Amazin’, how much yer body c’n say without you havin’ to speak. An’ mine said, Lookit me! Mine said, Ah’m big, Ah’m strong, an’ Ah’ll have what Ah darn well please for lunch, please ’n thanks, an’ Ah ain’t afraid ta be stared at fer once. Ah work hard, an’ when Ah’m off, Ah’ll treat mahself. Ah will eat like a horse because Ah am a horse! An’ Ah worked fer this body, so I ain’t gonna be afraid ta show off any inch of it. ...

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. So an otter arrives home from work, dead tired and faced with the prospect of Kraft dinner, jerking off, and early bed before going back to work at a soul-crushing office job where he would inevitably have to undo and redo the progress he’d thought he’d made that day. The otter, being a sensitive sort, needs to talk to somebody, so he calls his friend, a German Shepherd. They’d been friends since college, but never got to more than fooling around; he’s the perfect emotional Kleenex. Well, the shepherd doesn’t answer his phone, so the otter leaves him a short, weepy message on voicemail. ...