Buddy Goodboy: Creativity Unleashed Posts

I had an anxiety attack this week. Not one of my favorite experiences, but it happens every so often. I can usually never tell what causes them, but in this case, I know some of the reason behind it.

Twitter’s collapsing.

I didn’t have strong social skills in high school or college, and when I joined Twitter, I still had some things to learn. I’ve been on Twitter for almost ten years learning how to socialize. It’s been a real education in what I can talk about, with whom, for how long, and still retain an relationship with someone.

It turns out someone will listen to me talk about Animorphs, but I have to do it right. It has to be the proper setting, I have to introduce the topic and offer it as a subject, lay proper foundation so we can discuss on a common level, listen, and read the signals for the proper time to let the conversation go.

Not too bad. It took some practice to figure out what “proper” meant. Many thanks to my friends for their help in that. It wasn’t easy, and isn’t always, but now I get to talk about Animorphs and keep my relationship with my conversational partner. (Jake’s my favorite, then Tobias, then Ax. Ask me about it sometime.)

I’ve also brought that practice into my offline life. At this point, sans anxiety, I can talk to anyone about anything and walk away having had a decent conversation. Reading people and situations comes quite a bit easier now. Say hello if you see me in person—I’m always happy to meet you.

But part of me is wondering, if I lose Twitter, will I backslide? Will I lose the social skills I worked hard for and the confidence that came with it? Will I lose the version of me who can be social and charming and unafraid?

Intellectually, I know it’s an irrational worry, but that’s the thing about anxiety. It amplifies irrational worries till they can’t be ignored. It built up. I feel better now that I’ve identified and addressed it.

Anyway, if I’ve been beating the drum on social media the last few weeks, that’s why. Thanks for sticking with me and believing even when I don’t. I’ll continue to see you around, and keep saying hi. I always appreciate it. And if you let me talk about Animorphs, I promise not to talk your ear off.

I think it’s safe to say that Twitter was the most important online forum of the last fourteen years. Twitter succeeded at centralizing online communities in one common forum. You have to have a Twitter if you want to be online and be found.

That’s been a good thing in a lot of ways. Twitter’s been a huge boon to communities looking for each other. Personally, I found furries, comics fans and X-Perts, writers and comedians, queer and fat activists, legal professionals, all of whom added value to my life. I needed to find them, and I did.

Twitter’s been great for creators, too. Some good friends of mine have developed fan communities in the tens of thousands, who help pay their bills every month. Where else can a shitposter do that?

But as I write this, Elon Musk’s purchase of the website has gone through, and some of his policies are going into effect. You’ll have to buy verification to avoid your tweets being suppressed, if things actually go through. This signals a new age for Twitter.

Personally, I think it signals the end of centralization, at least for now. Twitter as it has existed is not likely to continue indefinitely. People are already starting to spread out their online presence to other forums, just in case, and I think that’ll continue for the foreseeable future.

The splintering of online communities will have an apocalyptic effect on creators trying to make a living. Instead of having one central space to market their wares and build audiences, they’ll have to divide their time among multiple different forums, just to keep up.

There is one positive angle, though: people won’t have to flatten their personalities to one dimension to maximize their appearance in an algorithm. In a single centralized forum, people can’t code-switch or explore multiple sides of their identities if they want to be found.

Me, I write worksafe and non-worksafe material. I draw general-audiences cartoons and explore more sexual and adult themes as well. I build model kits, I play music, I get political, I get up in arms about social injustices… I do a lot of stuff. I can’t do it all in one place. I certainly can’t explore NSFW subjects in every forum, nor should I.

If there’s one positive thing about diversifying my online presence, and moving away from solely relying on Twitter, it’ll be that I get to show my whole self online.

And that goes for you too—this is an opportunity to showcase more of yourself than a single forum’s algorithm would have allowed. Try something new.

I’m Buddy. I’m a writer and cartoonist. I have inattentive-type ADHD. I have went a path through my adult life littered with hobbies and pastimes which have come and gone, but I’ve wanted to write since I was a kid. This is one pastime I really don’t want to let go of. 

The problem with writing more than a microblog is that it takes more than one session of concentration to get thoughts clear and concise. It’s not easy with inattentive ADHD. My brain works like a puppy, i.e., it runs around chasing what’s interesting in the moment, instead of planning long-term like the smart ape it is.

I’ve tried blogging before. I did longish-form blogging on legal subjects and some artistic subjects about five years ago; I lasted about a year before I tuckered out, and that includes a few months of flagging attention and posting. I had a few good articles, I thought. I’ll probably post some here.

The new relationship energy with this blog is still strong, so I’m getting a kick out of writing again.  At some point, I’ll have to figure out how to keep going and maintain discipline when the dopamine rush isn’t there anymore. 

Yes, I have a planner, I bullet journal, I break tasks down into digestible chunks and try to get a reasonable number done a day. Those of you with ADHD are nodding your heads right now, I hope!

So, I kick the question to you, friends—what do you do to keep interest in a long-term project?