Nsfw

Been a guard in the Crystal Empire for a little bit, seen things change as the new rulers settled into their new roles. For a minor act of derring-do during the changeling fiasco, got named one of Princess Cadance’s personal guards. Took a turn guarding her chambers every few nights. Started to notice, after the first-time jitters wore off, that the princess had guests over late. Noticed the smell, too. Home cooking. And good home cooking, too. Smelled almost better than Ma’s. ...

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. So an otter arrives home from work, dead tired and faced with the prospect of Kraft dinner, jerking off, and early bed before going back to work at a soul-crushing office job where he would inevitably have to undo and redo the progress he’d thought he’d made that day. The otter, being a sensitive sort, needs to talk to somebody, so he calls his friend, a German Shepherd. They’d been friends since college, but never got to more than fooling around; he’s the perfect emotional Kleenex. Well, the shepherd doesn’t answer his phone, so the otter leaves him a short, weepy message on voicemail. ...